Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Emblem A.K.A. Retarded Boy

At about ten years old I started bucking for my first Oscar nomination. That is how the acting career that never was nearly came about. I was an adventurous young God, and often I would roam from hood to hood by myself. I roamed plenty of places with my young friends but every now and then I would embark on a mission all my own. Usually roaming approximately one or two miles outside of my neighborhood, I would go to these hoods dolo and act retarded. The other kids would be amazed that they found a genuine retarted boy roaming the streets. My act was good, believable at least to children my age. Children have no problem playing with other children, their not like adults at all. Adults are always apprehensive when meeting other adults, but children can't wait to play with other children. Children are also very cruel. 5, 10, and 85 percent inclinations exist in children. While acting retarded I would stumble upon some 10 percent children that wanted to pick on the Retarded Boy. So the 10 percent children would usually try to exploit me for their sick, sadistic amusement. They would try to feed me dirt, make me do something stupid like drink dishwashing liquid, bleach or piss in a bottle: something completely insane. Children are sadistic in some instances. So after the children would set up their ultimate humilation of Emblem A.K.A. Retarded Boy I would out of nowhere gain 145 I.Q. points and reverse said humiliation of Retarded Boy, and they would be the ones humiliated in the end. I would sometimes mush in their faces what they tried to mush in mine then punch the ring leader in the face and hall ass. Shortly thereafter I would hear the alarm sound, "He ain't retarded!!!" and they would chase the Emblematic One. We were so young that I knew that they could only chase me but so far. The reason Emblem could roam to other hoods is because my old Earth and her friend Brenda were down the basement smoking weed, thus this is the reason da young Emblematic One was allowed to venture to distant hoods and play his award winning role of Retarded Boy.

I still do that Retarded Boy shit, not to kids but to Jehovah’s Witnesses. I don't have to venture out into some far off neighborhood, Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on my door and come to me now. Every Jehovah’s Witness wants to spread the good word of Jehovah and I'm always game for a build. But I don't immediately start building at the door and start showing and proving Allah's Mathematics. I take my time, take a Watchtower with sincere interest and a smile, get them to set up a weekly bible study for me, and will play my new version of Retarded Boy all over again. Not retarded like 'moron' 'wear a helmet' retarded that I use to play at the age of ten, but regular, everyday 85 percent, worshipping a mystery God retarded. I'll show vulnerability, act spiritually confused, and ask questions like, "Why is God doing this to me?". My Enlightener use to build so much that I became an excellent listener. A lot of Gods talk, talk, talk, talk and talk. Emblem can get the 'talkies' every now and again but my science is the 'ear'. I love listening, and I can listen for a long time, slowly jotting down mental footnotes, doing my own research in my third while that talking movafucka is building their breath away. Yes, I'm a pure "Ear Hustler!" I've been studying with a Jehovah’s Witness for about seven months now, actually it is good, it keeps my ear game sharp, and it helps me draw angles of the bible up to 120, Supreme Alphabet, Supreme Math and Quran. Of course the Jehovah’s Witness I'm building with doesn't know I have any given proficiency in any area as it pertains to knowledge of self. Back in the day when I use to build with Witnesses I would be quick to run down the 'Asiatic Black Man' thing, how it ain't no Mystery God, but nowaday I have dispensed with such a clumsy technique. It is usually futile, and fruitless to come straight out the gates with religious types. Now the Jehovah Witness dude has been introducing me to angles of the bible, and helping me to keep my Bible game sharp cause mainly I'm a mega Quran head. Any good ball player should be able to go left or right, so when I study the bible I'm working on that Left hand knawmean.

In our bible studies they never become debates, they are studies, but the name of his game is to convert me 'The Retarded Boy' into a Jehovah's Witness. Imagine that: Emblem knocking on your door to give you a Watchtower. This is the nature of the game that all religion plays, but when me and dude are building it is like slow chess. Now I use to play speed chess in Medina but on the Grandmaster level the game of chess is slow and meditative, and the moves are quality moves. I never make offensive moves in the Bible study, slowly I allow the opening moves to take shape. Last week we ran into the fundamental Achilles Heel in all Jehovah Witnesses and many Christian doctrines. They believe that all of man is 6000 years old (Ironic, Right!?) but ultimately we know and understand scientifically that the Original Man is much older than 6000 years old. Now I don't attack his point right away, like Rakim said, "I wait-cause I mastered this..." So this week I did my research on a multiplicity of indigenous cultures throughout the world and the numbers go as far back as 75,000 years. I need not go any further back: 69,000 years is enough of a deficit for him to explain. I presented this information to him, along with the Carbon 14 dating process and I didn't do it combatively nor with a one 'upsmanship' attitude attached to it. But I laid the information in front of him like an impartial objective scientist or an indifferent Attorney.

He dismissed the data as a hoax, as a ploy by Satan to mislead man away from Jehovah's Kingdom. His only response was "Do you believe in the bible William (Emblem)?" I told him I did, but that the bible should correlate to Jehovah's scientific mind. He insisted that Adam was made by God in 4026 B.C.. He also admitted that if Scientific Data was introduced and man was in fact older than 6000 years it would disrupt the timeline and void a lot of the Biblical claims Jehovah Witnesses propagate. A flimsy house of cards is easy to blow down. Well anyway he gives me a lot of info from the Jehovah Witness that does indeed attempt to align itself with science, but they pick and choose with Mathematics and Science. They do their best to stay a few steps ahead of the average everyday Joe blow. Next week I will give him his Retarded Boy back and act like I'm striving to disprove the Carbon 14 process, the history of ancient civilizations, and prove that centuries of scientific research by Europeans and Original people is invalid. Reverse psychology indeed! But of course it will be cumbersome, and loads of evidence will have to be disproven, which is in most cases impossible because most scientists Original and European agree. Will he loose his religious mind? Probably not! But it will be interesting to see his reactions to hard science courtesy of yours truly: Retarded Boy

Peace
Em

Friday, August 7, 2009

Mathology: Emblem Meets Master Fard Muhammad. Part One

Marijuana is a helluva gateway drug. I was blazin some funk, drifted off to rest and a wavy fog hovered above me to the sound of a harp being lightly strummed-indicating I was about to start dreaming (like on the sit-coms and shit). I was at Show and Prove in Harriet Tubman, buildin' with some Gods in a cipher and in the middle of breaking down some degrees, I glanced over to the far corner. I did a double take, a triple take, then a quadruple take. My mouth dropped, and quietly-in sheer astonishment I mouthed the words, "Get-da-fuck-outta-here!". It was Master Wallace Fard Muhammad reading the Quran. I looked around and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Nobody else was paying him any mind, it was like no one could seed him but me. Slowly I approached him. He sat silently reading in the corner, quietly minding his business. My eyebrows and forehead were furrowed in utter disbelief.

"Peace" I greeted him, standing less than three feet from da God.
"As-Salaam Alaikum."
"It's you ain't it?" I asked.
"Yes sir."
"Awww shit! I knew it was you! Get da fuck outta here!" I could not contain myself. A lot of Gods talk about this First-born and that First- born, and stories about the Father and whatnot but I was lookin dead at the nigga who started da whole shit in North America. This was da Dude who asked Elijah "Who is the Original Man?".

"What da fuck you doin' here God?!"
"It's Show and Prove. I come to be with my Universal Family." he answered.
"Peace to da God! God we gotz to build Lord, lets step outside!" Me and da God started toward the exit of Harriet Tubman. "It'z so much shit I want to ask you. We started to walk toward Allah School in Mecca slowly, and no one seemed to recognize the pivotal figurek in Asiatic history I was walkin' with. Everyone nonchanlantly walked passed us both.

"God I know you hot as fuck in that suit. You want to sit in my whip? I'll turn on the air and we can build."
"No Sir. I prefer we sit and chat in my vehicle." Master Fard answered.
"Where's your cee Allah rule at God?" I said, looking both ways up and down the street, trying to figure out which whip Allah came in. Da God pointed up. I looked up in the sky and ain't see shit. "What da fuck is you talkin' 'bout God?"

At that moment he touched his national pin on the lapel of his suit jacket and said, "Two, to beam up Elijah."

"What da..." I couldn't finish my sentence because my atoms and molecules started to breakdown. Me and da God dematerialized right there on a 125th street in broad fuckin' day light.

"...fuck!!" I exclaimed, finishing my sentence as I re-materialized in the Mothership's transporter room a split second later.

"Oh shit! Oh shit! What da fuck!!!This da movafuckin' movaship son? This shit real?! You bullshittin! God I ain't know this shit was real. I thought you and Elijah was bullshittin'. I know this big movafucka ain't good on gas. What's da monthly payment on this bitch?"

The Mothership had white shag carpeting, velvet posters from the 70's with beautiful black women with afros, black tittie balls and a big ass disco ball hung from the ceiling. There was a Nike poster of Michael Jordan doin' his famous dunk, where he looks like he's laying down in the air.

"Take your shoes off God, make your self at home." Master Fard politely requested removing his Stacy Adams. "Nigga I don't know if you want that. I been in these Timz wit no socks on all movafuckin' day God. You might have to open some windows on this bitch, cause my feet will blow this shit out. Da God Fard clapped his hands twice on some 'King' shit and two MGT came out of a side door of the transporter room, sat me down, took my timz off and sponged down my feet with soapy, warm water. I giggled cause the shit was tickling as they washed my feet.

"You got da MGT up here washin' a niggaz feet: you ballin' God!" I said with a big ass grin on my face. Then the MGT put these red Nike slippers on my feet. Apparently Master Fard Muhammad dug Nike. The MGT bowed to me, then backing away and returned into the side door from which they came.

The Transporter doors opened, and Master Fard told me to follow him.

"Wallace-for a high yellow nigga-you a fly movafucka son. I must admit!" I said, walking behind him.

"Where we goin God?"

As soon as I asked, two doors automatically opened, it was the main control room, and there he was: The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, he didn't look a day over 25. He was sittin' at the control panel, with his feet up listening to 'Ready Or Not' by the Fugees.

"Peace to da God!!!" I yelled, moving toward the console. Elijah took his feet off the console, and stood up and gave me a pound and a 'bump' shoulder thug-hug.

"Everybody think you dead back on da Planet Lord. You look younger than me God! You on some 'How to Eat To Live' shit for real!" I said.

Elijah smiled a warm smile that only he could smile. "No sir. This is a brand new body."

"Yall Godz making brand new bodies up this bitch? How much them movafuckuz cost? I want one!" I glanced at Fard and told him "You don't look a day over 25 either God."

"This is my original body. I eat one bowl of bean soup every five years." Master Fard answered.

"One bowl of bean soup every five fuckin' years?!! Nigga I know your stomach growlin'!!! Yall got somethin' to eat up this bitch? I'm hungry den a movafucka and I ain't a vegan son!"

"What would you like Emblem?" Master Fard Muhammad asked.

"Whiting fish, cabbage, brown rice, corn bread and a slice of heated bean pie with melted butter dripping on top. And a tall glass of cold soy milk."

Fard clapped his hands again and three MGT came out this time, bringing me the grub on a silver platter. One MGT tucked a napkin under my chin and the other two sat the food gently down before me. All three backed off quietly and quickly.

"Yall really ballin' wit that 'clappin' shit and the 'bitches'...oops... Excuse me. I mean the 'Queens' come out bringing whatever. Clap me some weed up dis bitch. Ain't nuffin' like a blunt after dinner. I know yall gonna tell me da whole shit from triple darkness to nowaday. I want to know it all, how all this shit started?"

"We're gonna share all of our information with you Emblem and we have something better than weed. We have something from the planet Archientist. It's called shawazza." Elijah said.

"Weed from another planet?!!! All hell yeah!!!" I was looking forward to them clapping me a blunt of that shit.