On May 15th, 2010, after nearly a month of oil being spewed into the Gulf of Mexico several government grants were offered to scientific research teams around the world to find solutions and methods to stop the oil leak and to clean up the oil spill. The grant amount has been estimated at 75 million dollars. The God, Almighty Scientific Mind Allah composed a grant proposal, sent it to the FEMA Grant Review Board who are the financial administrators of the grant. After reviewing Almighty Scientific's proposal a portion of the grant was awarded to the God. The amount of the award money totaled $2,000,000.
Soon after he was awarded the grant, him and a team of Gods were sent to Washington D.C. to meet with Government engineers and BP officials to brief them on how to stop the oil leak and clean up the oil spill in the Gulf. The following are the minutes from that meeting:
Dr. Pamela Landy, Governmental Scientist and spokesperson:
"Welcome gentlemen, as you know we are in the midst of one of the most devastating ecological events in the history of our planet. When we here at FEMA read your proposal we were very impressed as well as curious as to your methods, ideas and solutions. Needless to say we look forward to learning more about your rather unconventional methods to solve this problem. Thank You!"
Charles Schwartz: Deputy Director of Gulf Oil Production For BP-
"Good morning Gentlemen. I'd like to say on behalf of BP, that we at BP will give you all the assistance possible to implement your ideas. We look forward to working with all of you."
Almighty Scientific Mind Allah: Leader of NGE Gulf clean up research team-
"Peace, The nature of mathematics is to find solutions and that's what the other Gods and myself are here for: to find solutions."
Dr. Pamela Landy asks question-
"Last night I read your proposal and it's absolutely amazing. The chemical equation on page 31 is absolutely breathtaking and beyond my mathematical depth. Could you please explain what is 'O/15+ I/9+ L/12=9'? Is it an ecological chemical equation of some sort?"
Self Is Allah-Advisor for NGE Gulf clean up team-
"Peace My name is Self Is Allah, I rest in Medina. The math is mad simple, but being as you all are only dealing with six ounces of grafted brain power I see why you ain't drawing it up: You can't draw that wisdom up above equality, because of the grafted brain you're dealin' wit. Let me explain: The 'cipher' is the knowledge power and the 'I' is Born and Love Hell and Right is knowledge wisdom. When you draw all that up it shows and proves that 'OIL' is what? 'Understanding Equality'! Which is all being born to what? Born! You gotta know that 'Born' makes things complete and when you know and understand that 'born' means to be complete-you can completely clean up the 'oil' spill! Peace!"
Dr. Pamela Landy-
"The branch of mathematics that you gentlemen are dealing with is completely out of my depth as a scientist. So are you saying that 'O' represents an oxygenized component?"
Pure Mathematics Allah-Chief Scientific Officer: NGE Gulf Clean Up Research Team:
"Indeed grafted lady-you gettin it. The cipher shows and proves knowledge power which is cipher but it can also stand for 'Oxygen' if you want it to. Keep studying white lady and you gonna learn to do like the Original man before you know it. Peace."
Dr. Pamela Landy-
"So is 'I' in representation of an isotope?"
Pure Mathematics Allah-NGE Gulf Research Team.
"'Isaa-what?' Now cipher! Pay attention. Yall white people ain't doin' the knowledge!! 'I' is for 'I Self Lord And/Am Master. Some Gods say 'And' and some Gods say 'Am'. Personally I say 'Am' because my lessons come from first born Sha Sha. This 'Issa-bullshit' yall grafted devils is talking about is the reason why yall dumb ass, six ounces of grafted brain movafuckuz is fuckin' shit up to begin with. Yall cut an artery in the Earth-the Earth is the what? Black Woman! Yall movafuckuz at BP cut my Earth's throat and now she's bleeding. I should whoop your punk ass white boy!"
Meeting Minutes: Pure Mathematics is pointing and yelling at Charles Schwartz, Deputy Director of BP oil production and threatening to take his head. Mr. Schwartz is scared.
Dr. Pamela Landy-
"Gentlemen! Gentlemen!! let's just calm down. I know that your passionate about this ecological issue but cooler heads must prevail."
Meeting Minutes: Pure Mathematics and Charles Schwartz have both taken theirs seats and calmed down.
Almighty Scientific Mind Allah: Leader of NGE Gulf Clean Up Research Team-
"Before we even take the Oil clean up from Knowledge to Born-when do we get the check? We need gold to truly put Allah's Mathematics into full effect!"
Meeting Minutes: Members from NGE Gulf Clean Up team concur with Almighty Scientific Mind's remark by yelling "Peace...Indeed...Y Equal Self...Word is Bond and 'True dat'?"
Dr. Pamela Landy-(Pamela Landy opens folder)-
"Gentlemen we have the first installment of the grant money: A check for $750,000"
Meeting Minutes: Pure Mathematics Allah appears to be very excited, he stood up and is walking around the board room and appears to be crying tears of joy.
" Oh Shit! Oh shit!! That'z what da fuck I'm talkin' bout God! Cash Rules Everything Around Me: Cream get the Money dollar dollar bill yaaaaaalllllll. I grew up on the crime side the New York Time side, stayin' alive was no Jive, wore second hands, moms bounced on Old Man and then we moved to Shaolin Land..." Word Life my movafuckin nigga, I'm gettin a movafuckin Yukon when we get back to Medina Son!!! Yall gotta check cashing place 'round dis bitch?!?"
Almighty Scientific Mind Allah-
"Fuck a check cashing place. We gotta cash this shit at a Bank God!"
Meeting Minutes: NGE Gulf Research Team agrees with Almighty Scientific Mind Allah's suggestion that they should cash the grant Check at a bank.
Self Is Allah-NGE Gulf Research Team-
"I ain't got I.D. plus I got warrants for traffic tickets!"
Dr. Pamela Landy- Governmental Adm. FEMA-
"Gentlemen we need to really focus and narrow down a time table as to when your clean up efforts will begin and also a list of industrial equipment that you gentlemen will be needing for the clean up."
Pure Mathematics-NGE Gulf Research Team-
"That's a dumb ass question white lady. Go to the dollar store, get some mops, rags, 50 rolls of them Brawny Paper towels, Comet cleanser, bleach, pet soap for da oily ducks and a whole lotta buckets bitch!"
Peace
Em